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Thursday, May 31, 2012

Digital Distain

A lot of people have been concerned recently by Digital Domain CEO John Textor's plans for student labor. Ugly debates have be started about Textor's true intentions. But frankly, I am a lot more concerned by the third hand that grows out of his ribcage.




That's right...the real scandal here is still "digital" but that's only because John Textor has......

FIVE EXTRA FINGERS.


This clearly presents an unfair advantage over other animation studio CEOs. It is an outrage and must be...uh...correctly "handled".... immediately.

He can get to work earlier in the morning because he can flip pancakes while pouring himself a glass of milk.

His pitches to clients are more effective as he can fully gesticulate during a keynote presentation AND change to the next slide at the same time

He can improve employee moral by giving three high fives at once

In order to create a fair competitive environment and level playing field,
I call for an internet petition to get John Textor's third hand removed immediately.

Please sign below.

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