"your internet source for no-nonsense nonsense"

Thursday, May 31, 2012

"Oh, Did You Get My.....None-Of-Your-Business Card?!!"

A new invention: the "None-Of-Your-Business Card" ©

"The most effective way to keep away unwanted clients, guaranteed."

Digital Distain

A lot of people have been concerned recently by Digital Domain CEO John Textor's plans for student labor. Ugly debates have be started about Textor's true intentions. But frankly, I am a lot more concerned by the third hand that grows out of his ribcage.

That's right...the real scandal here is still "digital" but that's only because John Textor has......


This clearly presents an unfair advantage over other animation studio CEOs. It is an outrage and must be...uh...correctly "handled".... immediately.

He can get to work earlier in the morning because he can flip pancakes while pouring himself a glass of milk.

His pitches to clients are more effective as he can fully gesticulate during a keynote presentation AND change to the next slide at the same time

He can improve employee moral by giving three high fives at once

In order to create a fair competitive environment and level playing field,
I call for an internet petition to get John Textor's third hand removed immediately.

Please sign below.

Coming Soon

"Cars" Makes Everything 1000x More Cool

Ok, so I've been obsessed with Gary Numan's song "Cars" lately. And...while I was brushing my teeth today, the song was on in the background. I'll tell you, I felt so awesome brushing my teeth...and it occurred to me this song has the powerful ability to make anything 1000X more awesome then it actually is. So I decided to put the theory to the test..I think the theory still stands as true?

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Fun With Breakfast!

If I ever have kids, I'll yell at them to "play with their food", or they wont be able to have dessert!!

Second post...

Geeze, second posts are a lot harder.

There will be funny stuff, I promise....but now I would like to share a recent educational video I made.

More to come!

First post!

I've heard people say the first blog post is the hardest....but this really wasn't that bad.